The capacity for love

 

 

There is a capacity inside all of us, which often remains underdeveloped. We know that if we regularly do more pushups then soon the number of pushups we are capable of will grow. If I ride a bike regularly then how far I can ride will increase. But what about our emotions, what about the capacity for love.

As any parent will tell you, the arrival of a child is astonishing at how much you could possibly love someone. You may have been in love with your partner but the child brings you to a new level. When a second child arrives that ability to love grows again.

Relating to your children in this way is easy to understand, even if you don’t have children of your own but have a niece or nephew, the lesson is the same. When we open our hearts and let ourselves love another person we find that we have room for that love in our lives and through it we grow. I believe we grow into better people.

Unfortunately we have a society that equates love with only romantic relationships or family members. You can enjoy lots of friendships but the L word is largely kept in reserve for only special occasions.  I refuse to believe that. I don’t want to put restrictions on my capacity for love and for expressing those feelings. There are a lot of wonderful people in my life who I love and I want to be able to share how I feel with them. There are people whose friendship has grown to be so important to me that inside of my heart I know that I love them. If you can remove all of the romantic packaging that has been marketed at us with regards to love and see that there is actually a pure emotion at the centre of it, then you can discover that hidden capacity inside yourself.

With each realization of love existing in your life you have the opportunity to do something about it and in the process feel your spirit expand. The wonderful beauty of this concept is there is no limit on how far you can grow.

I’m not saying that by wanting to feel this emotional growth you should proclaim your love to everyone you know. There are still going to be people you like who are your friends but may not resonate with you to the degree that you feel that next level of caring for them. That is as it should be. Blindly telling every person you know you love them diminishes that real love you may feel for those important people in your life.

Love is special, love is beautiful, and it exists already between you and many of the people in your life. All that is missing is your willingness to express it. I know this may sound so simple but I do know otherwise. Crossing the threshold and being ready to say I love you without any expectations or conditions isn’t easy. It likely goes against much of the way you were brought up and how you have grown into the friendships you have.

It is a raw moment to tell someone that you love them but it is nothing to fear. Better to fear the constriction inside of you when you suppress those feelings and settle for less than honesty.

I don’t want to confine myself in a world of muted colours and dull emotions. I want to express myself vibrantly. I want to tell the people who matter to me how important they are, how much I care about them. I know that I have the capacity to increase the love in my life and be a better person for it.

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